Author's pov:

Ahana took deep exhale and inhale to calm her down from the high of his kiss . Opening her eyes she found him staring at her without a blink of his lashes . Thousands of goosebumps ran through her body when his pointer finger and thumb nibbled her now slightly swollen lips and his velvety voice wasn't something less in the competition to make her more quiver.

"These are definitely gonna be my  addition for life need "

No words escaped from her mouth as the kiss was something too much for her to ease from. He softly smiled at her reaction while kissing her forehead lovingly and layed beside her keeping her figure close to him , her head resting on his muscular shoulder.

Without uttering any words they both went to dreamland.

Next morning:

Akshaj :

I woke up from the peaceful sleep which I got don't know after how many years and the first thing I noticed her .  The butterfly , her every response when i touched her have carved on my memory . Her  actions were full of innocence that i never want to ruin but crave for it at the same time. Black and shiny hair strands of her was disturbing my view to adore her beauty. My hand softly went to push them away from her face but as soon as the view of her face cleared to me  , red fingerprint of my fingers on her soft and pale skin came to my sight. Guilt and anger rushed through my veins . How could I...... I know it was an accident but still . I immediately get off from the bed and left the chamber .

I took bath into a different chamber while my mind was full with thoughts. How will I complete this marriage in which I bonded with all vows and rituals. I took vows to protect her from every harm and evil  but I myself hurted her at second night of our wedding. She isn't safe with me . I can't share bed with her knowing how brutal panic attacks and nightmares I get which always make me to loose my mind . The darkness of my own past is killing my soul and I can't be selfish to involve her in my darkness just because I found comfort with her . I should stay away from her. I have to untill I overcome it.  With mind full of disturbing thoughts i left the palace without eating and went to the horse ride .

AHANA:

Chirping of birds helped me to get out of my deep slumber, slowly opening and rubbing my eyes i  adjusted my eyesight for surroundings. Suddenly my face cought heat and hotness as my mind remembered  the thing I mean kiss happened between me and Rana Sa. Oh my God ......I never felt in that way . It was like my nerves got fire and heart raced into a marathon and the currents which ran through my body when he sucked on my cheek  made  me feel alive in a different way . I was so into my thoughts that i didn't hear an attendee asking me to come inside the chamber for cleaning. I permitted her to clean . My eyesight roamed around as I didn't find his presence may be he left for the work in court. After getting out of the bed i headed in the bath area where pots of water , bath paste and essential oils were already prepared for me. May be attendees made it yesterday night. Getting out of my clothes i processed to clean myself.

Getting ready properly with matching jewellery of my lehnga choli i filled vermilion in partition of my head . My bangles, bells of anklets and waistchain were giggling with every step or move i made .  Stepping out of the chamber went to house temple where family members were present already but Rana Sa wasn't there  which slightly got my attention . Bhabi Sa and I did worship . After that everyone ate but he still didn't show up  while my eyes were roaming here and there to see if I can find him . Noticing my observing eyes bhabi Sa spoke in a teasing tone.

'missing him...??'

I shooked my head shyly and she chuckled.

"Don't worry Ahana...dever sa often spend his mornings in practicing sword techniques and horse ride"

I nodded in understanding and continue to eat . After breakfast bhabi Sa asked me to join her so we went to their chamber . We did little conversations.

"So Ahana how your married life is going on.. have dever sa made you comfortable with him yet..? "

"Yes bhabi Sa..he is so caring"

"That's great..god bless you both"

She smiled  and further talked about random things and i came to know about that I have a mother in law. After death of Rana Sa's real mother, maharaja got married again as kingdom needed a queen and she has a daughter already before this marriage.

"Eh.. Ahana they both are coming by tomorrow and you should be extra careful with those two as their relationship with dever sa isn't in good terms"

I tried to investigate further but bhabi Sa shrugged saying I'll get to know everything by time and I agreed with her. Whole day was spent with bhabi Sa in her chamber doing lots of conversations, she shown me her collections of jwellery and lehngas and special perfumes imported from Arbs . At night after having dinner with her i bid good night to her as it's almost time for Jeth ji to come back and may be Rana Sa will also come any soon . I want to see him as we didn't communicate at all today and want to share and ask many things to him .

Passing through galleries of multiple chambers i reached for mine . An attendee opened the door for me and closed once I entered in . Rana Sa was nowhere to be seen . I sighed and went to the bathing area for a long bath. My night clothes which were simple plain in cotton with no heavy embroidery on it was already prepared for me. After spending one and half hour in cleaning myself i came back to my dressing table. I already removed every piece of jwellery before bathing except my nuptial chain and anklets . After drying my long and thick hairs these got tie in a messy bun. I spent a lot of time in self care but still Rana Sa didn't come back. I wasn't feeling good all alone in this huge chamber as I'm habitual of sharing chamber with my cousin and since two nights with Rana Sa so I want to know when he'll come .Kamal  came inside once I clapped and I asked whereabouts of his and the thing she told me I got confused by . She told that he is sleeping into an another chamber. But why..???? He told me to ask him anything so without thinking twice so i stood up and asked her to show me the place where he is staying.

Akshaj :

I was  already frustrated with the accident of slapping my little wife yesterday night and that's why I avoided to face her entire day but the thing made my blood boil is these two ladies I hate the most in this world are coming back in my life again . My mind wasn't in right state of thinking anything. I directly came to the chamber as I already decided to stay away from my wife for the sake of her own protection from me and drank the red  blood colour liquid went through my throat giving a sour and burning sensation to my tongue yet satisfaction of coolness to my insides helping my mind to forget unwanted thoughts that ruin my peace and only to focus on tasting it . I was sipping on addictive drink calmly when i knock of door got my attention.

" Don't allow anyone"

I ordered and again went to my drinking in order to forget the disturbing thoughts but door got again knock and melodious voice ran to my ears that was slow but still reached to me.

"Rana Sa..."

What she is doing here this time ..she came to see me.??? What i would explain her about yesterday night.??? And my vulnerable state.. I don't want to break in front of her but she is the only one I feel light from my darkness and moreover she is my wife and has every right to know about me . I was so into my thoughts that didn't notice her calls for asking me to come inside. I only noticed when she opened the door and  entered in the place. The light was dim as I didn't bother myself to oil the lamps. Even under low light her skin was glowing having highlight on cheeks especially. She looked at me thinned her eyebrows as she going through the the surroundings and situation in order to understand. The fourth glass from I was gulping the addictive drink has empty by now  , placing it on the table beside bed i signed her to come to have a seat on bed and she followed my signals and close but before she can sit on the mattress i grabbed her wrist and pulled on my lap. Her eyeballs were like they'll come out anytime, her lips trembled at my sudden action and I can see the visible goosebumps on her arm which wrist i caught.

"Driye mat kha nhi jayenge apko patni ji"

"Don't be afraid i won't eat you dear wife "

Though I have High tolerance of addiction but her presence with me was enhancing the impact which is helping me to loose my senses and get lost in her smell . Freshly bathed skin of her was sending fragrances of oils and bath paste to my nostrils.

"Ra..Rana Sa aap ne madhya ka sevan kiya hai.?

"Ra. Rana Sa did you drink....??'

Her stuttering words were showing the effect of our closeness and her frowned face was seeming cutest to me at this moment that i couldn't stop myself from smiling and nodded in agreement as an answer of her question. Her lips pouted showing tint of anger after knowing my response.

"Prantu kyu ... Kya apko nhi pta iski lat bhut hi hanikarak hoti hai swasthya ke liye.."

"But why .. don't you know it's addiction is very harmful for health "

Her words and face was lashing with worry and I saw in her eyes with half open mine ones "

"I'm already addicted to it Ahana"

My words comes out heavily as emotions began to took over me , eyes moisturized as water start to form in the corners and my head automatically leaned on her shoulder in the side of neck .

"Rana Sa are you ok....???"

She asked in a slow voice and I shook my head life to right..

"No...I'm not ok Ahana..it's hurt ,,,,it hurts very much and I can't keep it inside me anymore "

Hot tears from my eyes wetted her collar bone .

"Shh... Rana Sa everything is going to be alright I'm with you "

Her hand raked into my hairs pampering the scalp as she was understanding me and may be she really does and .

That's it. I.couldn't hold the flood of emotions and broken down in tears and heavy sobs and my grip around her tighten way too firmly and thrown myself in her embrace.

Ahana :

My heart pained witnessing his state  and my eyes automatically got teary hearing his sobs . I tried my best to calm him down while patting his back.... ruffling his hairs but his situation remained same . The intoxication and pain of his heart wasn't letting him to be stable in his senses . I couldn't think straight at this time and detached him from my embraces a little and looked at his wet and red eyes . Pain gushed through my veins seeing him like this .

"Its . hurting..I feel like to .die..and..'

But before he could complete his words my lips found his in order to stop him from spitting out the venomous words for himself.

My heart was beating insanely thinking about how he's gonna react on my act but he didn't oppose my action a little instead wrapped his arm around me tightly pulling me more nearer and close his eyes while tears were still sheddering. I also closed my eyes taking his lips more firmly in my mouth craving to take his all pain through this process . After a while i detached my lips from him but only to caught by his ones more passionately and deeply ..that it made me

shiver due to sensations.

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